The Cake Act 2025

Section 1 — Definitions

1. “Cake” includes, but is not limited to: donuts, sponge cake, cupcakes, slices, pavlova, brownies, tiramisu, and any home baked goods.
2. “Offender” refers to any individual who violates a listed offence under this Act.
3. “The Office” means the Office of Cake Compliance (OCC), currently located wherever is convenient.

Section 2 — Purpose

The purpose of this Act is to:

1. Acknowledge the daily efforts of frontline emergency services personnel;
2. Provide reparation for dealing with avoidable nonsense and workplace annoyances;
3. Encourage accountability, humour, and cake-based morale within operational units;
4. Establish a formalised process by which cakes may be used as a peace offering, morale booster, or bribe (non-binding) for forgiveness.

This legislation recognises that if you’re going to test the patience of those you work with, you’d better bring cake.

Section 3 — Offences and Corresponding Penalties

Offences shall be listed in full under the page titled Offences and shall carry with them cake-related consequences proportional to the offence.

Section 4 — Penalty Guidelines

1. All cakes must be provided to a level that every person within the Officer’s immediate team should be able to enjoy a generous helping
2. Repeated offenders may be required to include sprinkles.

Section 5 — Commencement

This Act shall come into effect on the 1st of the month immediately following its publication online, or once someone cuts into a pavlova — whichever comes first.